Confessions and What I See

Confession time first.

I have been miserable at keeping track of my eating this week! I don't think I have written anything down since Tuesday at lunch. I could probably try and go back to fill it in, but I don't even remember what I wore yesterday, much less every little thing I ate 3 days ago! Oh well. I haven't been horrible though, I do know that (that comes in two days when I have multiple parties to go to over the weekend!)

Another confession- Even though I have been able to make it to the gym several times a week lately, I am still not working on one of my major trouble spots; the post-beingoverweightfor20yearsandhavingababy-belly pouch. Now I am not delusional enough to think that I will ever ever ever have a flat stomach (until I save up enough $$ for a tummy tuck of course, so...never) but I feel like it HAS to get better than this right? But what am I doing about it? Mostly just letting myself get down over my ruined body and watching TV instead of getting on the floor and doing some crunches.

This brings me to the other topic for the post. What I see when I look in the mirror.

Apparently other people (coworkers) see someone who is about to "blow away" b/c they are so skinny and are telling me I need to stop losing weight b/c I'm too small. Granted, I've lost weight and have some thin areas, but what I see is the aforementioned belly pouch and jiggly cellulite- infused thighs. It's not like I want to settle with what I have and stop working at being healthy, but why can't I also be more satisfied with the results so far and not beat myself up that I'm still just a big old mess! Ugh- body image can be a pretty ugly thing sometimes!