Fashion show, fashion show, fashion show at lunch!

(name that TV show :-p)

I'll get to the fashion show in a minute, but first I want to do an update of sorts. I ate lots, exercised little, and have no idea how much I currently weigh due to the lack of a scale- but... My pants still seem to fit, so I'll call the Holidays a success (well there is still one more to go though isn't there...)

Today I went to the mall to spend a gift card and went in not really knowing what I wanted (possibly perfume, dinnerware to match my new holiday settings, or maybe a few accessories like belts etc), but I got sucked in by the clothes and never looked back!

Which brings me to the fashion show. Since I was running out of time, I didn't see the complete outfit all put together, so I went to the bathroom at work and tried them on again to get an idea. Then I realized that I said I would put some real pictures on the blog, so I took a couple of (blurry, sorry) photos!

So even though I spent 3X what the GC was actually for, I am happy with the results! I did get one other little shrug type cardigan that isn't pictured here, and I'll probably have to buy a little belt to go with it- It's cute, hopefully my vision will pan out!

So without further ado- some "real" after pics!

I have a sickness

I am not trying to be cute or exaggerating when I say I honestly think I have some mental illness when it comes to sugar/dessert. It probably has always been like that, but I am noticing it more lately with the holidays and trying to maintain this weight loss. If I am around dessert I CAN NOT STOP EATING. I swear, it is like some obsessive compulsive order- I don't lock and unlock the door five times, but I have to have just one more bite, one more cookie, one more lick. It is maddening.

Finally on Friday when I was making cookies and I had already licked myself sick on icing, I put some gum in my mouth as was suggested a while ago. It worked for a while, but eventually, I got an especially delicious glob of white chocolate on my finger and took that gum right out of my mouth, licked it off, and stuck the gum right back in. (disclaimer- I do wash my hands, etc after these tastes, so don't think you are getting all my germs if you are so lucky to receive baked goods this year!)

And just now, I innocently went past the break room and happened to peek in to see a Christmas tin sitting out. Some delicious chocolate cookies and caramel bark were in it. So I take one cookie and one piece of bark and walk out. But shoot, I forgot that I will need my water now that I was eating something, so I went back into the fridge to get my water and had to get another cookie. A physical need for another cookie. It's a sickness, I know it is, and it is making me even more desperate b.c I don't want to undo all the positive steps since May. I'm enjoying the season, but I am ready for Christmas and New Years to just be over already b/c it's just so hard :(

Not sure what I am looking for with this post, but there is the whole ugly truth!

Confessions and What I See

Confession time first.

I have been miserable at keeping track of my eating this week! I don't think I have written anything down since Tuesday at lunch. I could probably try and go back to fill it in, but I don't even remember what I wore yesterday, much less every little thing I ate 3 days ago! Oh well. I haven't been horrible though, I do know that (that comes in two days when I have multiple parties to go to over the weekend!)

Another confession- Even though I have been able to make it to the gym several times a week lately, I am still not working on one of my major trouble spots; the post-beingoverweightfor20yearsandhavingababy-belly pouch. Now I am not delusional enough to think that I will ever ever ever have a flat stomach (until I save up enough $$ for a tummy tuck of course, so...never) but I feel like it HAS to get better than this right? But what am I doing about it? Mostly just letting myself get down over my ruined body and watching TV instead of getting on the floor and doing some crunches.

This brings me to the other topic for the post. What I see when I look in the mirror.

Apparently other people (coworkers) see someone who is about to "blow away" b/c they are so skinny and are telling me I need to stop losing weight b/c I'm too small. Granted, I've lost weight and have some thin areas, but what I see is the aforementioned belly pouch and jiggly cellulite- infused thighs. It's not like I want to settle with what I have and stop working at being healthy, but why can't I also be more satisfied with the results so far and not beat myself up that I'm still just a big old mess! Ugh- body image can be a pretty ugly thing sometimes!

Weekend Roundup

I think I need to go all the way back to Thursday, so here goes;
Thur: 24 pts
Fri: 27 pts
Sat: 29 ish pts (1 activity pt gained)
Sun: 27 ish pts

From Friday on, things got a little hazy. During the week, I can sit at my desk and basically plan out the whole day's points. On the weekend, I may not know what I am going to eat when, and generally just don't bother to write things down. Also, I made cookies on Saturday and Michael made a big breakfast of fried potatoes, bacon and eggs on Sunday- so that increased my total. I will say that I am 99.9% positive that I did not use all my extra points for the week, so overall I would call it a success.

I am going to try to stick to my points for one more week, and then for the rest of the Holiday season I'll just try my best to make smart choices on types and portions of food!

New Pic

I just put a new pic up over in the side bar. It's pretty bad since I took it myself with the timer and no really good surface to put the camera on! Oh well, maybe one of these days I'll do a full picture with some of my new clothes on!
Oh and today's total was 23 pts and 1 activity pt gained!

Back to Basics

Not surprisingly, last week was one of excess. Lots of food but unfortunately, not lots of exercise. I had worked out last on Tuesday and then not again until a couple of days ago on Monday (other than one short walk after Thanksgiving dinner).

I don't know how much I weighed going into the week, since I am no longer weighing in at WW, and I probably won't know how much I weigh after for a while, since we don't own a scale! But I know that I need to get recommitted to a healthier lifestyle leading up to the difficult Christmas celebrations.

So I am going back to basics and started tracking food and points this week (started Mon) and will post them here to keep myself accountable! At my current weight I am allowed 23 pts per day plus the extra 35 per week. I'll also be able to accumulate activity points by going to the gym or taking walks on days when it isn't as nasty as today!
Here is the break-down so far:
Monday: 23 pts plus I earned 1 activity point
Tuesday: 30 pts plus earned 1 activity pt (freaking moe's! I was doing well until Michael insisted on going there for dinner)
Wed: .... will update later!

ahhh backslide already

When I weighed in at WW last Thursday, I had gained 1.6 lbs (!) so technically I am over my goal weight- oops. But it's by less than 1/2 a pound. Not fun to gain like that, but I don't really find it that big of a deal at this point. It was my birthday week and I had fun with that and a GTG the night before. Since last week was my final week of WW and we don't have a scale at home, I guess I'll just have to rely on the fit of my new tight pants to keep me in check! I can't let myself outgrow a new wardrobe.. (which I had lots of fun picking out by the way- yay for new clothes!)

I am still doing well with making it to the gym considering the extreme constraints with my schedule- I've probably averaged about 3 x a week. I think I can see some differences in the tone of my arms but it is weird that I don't feel any stronger. Like today, I was just really sapped of energy or something, b/c I was having problems doing the same weight/rep amounts that I have done since the start. I also wish my legs were moving along a little faster. It is so annoying to be bony in some places but then have tons of fat and dimples in my thighs and belly.

Just like everyone else, this week is going to be about some major self discipline and willpower! I found this recipe for pumpkin pie and hope it will satisfy my sweet tooth so I won't go overboard!

1 Tbsp packed light brown sugar

2 Tbsp butter, melted

2 large egg white(s)

1 large egg(s)

1/2 cup(s) dark brown sugar

/4 tsp table salt

2 tsp pumpkin pie spice, or less to taste

1 cup(s) canned pumpkin

1/2 cup(s) fat-free evaporated milk

1/4 cup(s) lite whipped topping

Instructions

• Position rack in middle of oven. Preheat oven to 350ºF.
  
  
• Place graham crackers and light brown sugar in a food processor; process into crumbs (or smash into crumbs in a sealed plastic food bag with a rolling pin). Spoon crumbs into a small bowl; add melted butter and combine with fingers into a coarse meal. Distribute crumbs evenly on bottom and up sides of an ungreased 9-inch pie plate. Chill for 30 minutes before baking. Bake until crust starts to turn golden, about 8 to 10 minutes; remove from oven and let cool.
  
  
• Meanwhile, in a large bowl, using an electric mixer, whip egg whites until frothy; fold in egg, dark brown sugar, salt, pumpkin pie spice, canned pumpkin and evaporated milk. Beat pumpkin custard until smooth and pour into pie shell. Bake until a knife inserted in center comes out clean, about 45 to 55 minutes. Slice into 8 pieces, top each piece with 1/2 tablespoon of whipped topping and serve warm or at room temperature. Yields 1 slice per serving

It's a WW recipe so of course they gave it a points value- 3 pts per piece in case you cared, so that probably pans out to about 160 ish calories and 2 or 3 grams of fat. I'll let you know how it turns out!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Big News!

No update last week b/c I had no change- 0.0 lbs difference was the official Weight Watchers verdict. But now I am back with some big news..... down 3.4 lbs so I've lost 31.2 lbs total since the end of May and slightly surpassed my original goal!!!

And wouldn't you know it, I just canceled my monthly membership on Monday now that I am only 0.6 lbs away from what I set as my WW goal. I am paid up until the 25th, but I don't know if I want to stick with it after that for another 6 weeks (assuming I lose that last 0.6 lbs). I guess I'll leave that decision until it needs to be made.

How did I lose that much this week!? Maybe the increased strength training is catching up with me, but I know I was less than health conscious with my eating this week. For instance the brunch that we had at the Hibernian on Sunday (which I encourage everyone to try- sooo good....pumpkin pancakes....yum...)

This weekend I am looking forward to some more food treats but I am going to try and stick to moderation. For my birthday, instead of letting someone make/buy me a cake, we are just going to pick one cupcake for each of us- that way the portion size is controlled and I won't be tempted with leftovers! Also I am expecting to get a lot of walking in on Saturday as I FINALLY go on my new "skinny" wardrobe shopping spree- yippee!!!! If only I had an unlimited budget I would be in heaven, but I see a lot of price comparison and restraint in my future :-p

So that's it! I hope everyone has a great weekend and this freakin' weather clears up b.c it is seriously depressing (esp since it has made evident there is a leak somewhere in my car- sunroof is most likely culprit- that will probably cost our savings to fix) oops- this is supposed to be a happy thoughts post ...cupcakes ...clothes ...cupcakes ....clothes ....cupcakes...................

Halloween has been hard!

I haven't really been into Halloween festivities for the last several years, so I guess I kind of forgot how damaging Halloween can be. Now with a child that will be getting more and more excited about Halloween each year, it's going to be in my life for a while!

I did not weigh in last Friday, so I guess I won't know exactly how far back this little holiday will be setting me. Maybe a good thing? I have been able to make it to the gym 3 to 4 times each week, and even though I am not doing anything intense, something is better than nothing.

I don't know what to do to get myself geared by up to lose these last few pounds. I should be excited to be so close, but I'm having a hard time envisioning myself getting there right now and it is really frustrating! And then I am looking ahead to the next few weeks and month, and can't help but feel defeated already with my birthday, then thanksgiving and Christmas coming up- this negativity needs to stop- blah.

ugh..bummer

I'm up 0.2 pounds this week! Not the right direction. And even though I can't say that I am surprised (hello pizza, cake and cupcake on Wed!), that doesn't mean that I'm not disappointed.

In other news. I have been able to make it to the gym twice this week, and will go again today on my way home from work, so I am pleased with that. Additionally, I have done a quick ab routine every night plus walks when this nasty weather has allowed. So it's not all bad news. At least I did some good things exercise wise even if the scale didn't reflect that.

As far as continuing with weight watchers... I'm going to give it one more month. I honestly think I've gotten what I can out of it right now, and just need motivation to get me through, which apparently needs to come from somewhere else. Therefore, I've decided that since I am so close to my 30 lb goal that the new "deadline" is going to be right around my birthday (which is Nov 14th). This change comes mostly b/c I want new clothes!!! I know my mom is going to give me some $$ for my birthday and I am just sooo ready to spend it on a new wardrobe, that I don't want to be in a situation where I have that few extra pounds to lose before I get to go shopping!

weigh-in nerves!

Leaving in about 10 min for WW meeting and weigh-in. I feel like last week I was spoiled with such a good weight loss that I am going to be really down-heartened this week and it makes me nervous to go! Esp being soooo close to my goal!
Stay tuned...

Biting the bullet

I enrolled at Planet Fitness last week! It is only $10 a month, but not really what I am used to in a gym. I enjoy attending the group fitness classes, but this is just your basic gym with weights/machines and cardio equipment. But I have decided to stick with WW for a while longer, so I can't justify paying more to get more.

There is a section there called "30 min express" that has a selection of weight machines designed for a full body workout. They have a stop light that lets you know to switch between the machines and a cardio interval (they have a stair step) to finish a good workout in.... 30 minutes! It will probably get boring pretty quickly, but it's a good place to start and if I am able to get this done about 3 times a week, I hope to see some toning and definition in a few weeks!

Weight-loss is still going pretty well, even though I am still a tracking loser! I did gain 0.8 lbs a couple of weeks ago (too much celebration for Michaels birthday!) but overall I am down about 27.5 lbs. I'll have to check my weigh-in book later to make an official update.

Unfortunately I got stupid and instead of setting my WW goal at a loss of 30 lbs, I set it for 150 since it would have been sooo close. So instead of having about 3 lbs to lose I still have about 5..... Hopefully they will go by quickly :)

To quit or not to quit

Weight Watchers that is.

It's not as if I don't like the plan any more, I'll try my best to continue it no matter what my decision, I'm just getting tired of paying for it :-p The stupidest part is, that since I am kind of blah about the program right now, I haven't been following like I should, which is just wasting more money. I figure if I had actually been doing well the past three weeks, I could conceivably be about 3 pounds away from my goal weight and that much closer to achieving lifetime (ie free) membership.

I need to get SERIOUS about re-committing, at least for the next month, which I think I have already paid for anyway. After every meeting lately I say I'm going to start counting points tomorrow, so this time I'm going to have to beat myself over the head with it. TRACK TRACK TRACK COUNT COUNT COUNT!

Oh and I'm probably just getting my hopes up, but I may have even another reason to lose my 30 by the end of this year. Michael's mom thinks she might finally get a contract on the house they are selling, and if the offer is acceptable she is taking us all to the Bahamas for Christmas! I'll be pasty white, but hopefully I'll at least look better in a bathing suit :)

A whole lotta nothing

I didn't update last week, but it was pretty uneventful. I did no food/point tracking (which I haven't done this week either- oops!!) and not surprisingly I didn't lose any weight. However, I didn't gain any either, so that's good. It is crazy to think that I was exactly the same weight to a 10th of a pound. Hopefully this is a sign that once I get to a goal weight, I can do a decent job of maintaining it. Though one week is hardly a trend.

This week, even though I haven't tracked, I feel better about my food choices and quantities (barring that trip to the cupcake shoppe on Saturday...yum)

I have done a few more toning sessions this week via exercise on demand- mostly abs. My belly and thighs are where all my weight is, so I need to help them along! I HATE squats though, so I'm afraid my thighs will always be flab-alicious.

Feeling ggggreat!

I think it's the weather, but I have been feeling pretty awesome this week. I have been going on several (short) walks a day and every time I go outside it makes me all happy and de-stressed. I was even thinking yesterday, that if the weigh-in wasn't good today, that it probably wouldn't negatively affect my mood. Luckily I didn't have to worry about that though, b/c I had another loss this week, so yay!

I am also feeling a little less frantic about someone buying our house. I just need to chill and let things run their course. I'm sure I will go through periods where I will get really impatient again, but hopefully not stress out about it as much as I was. Stress is bad people!!

So the good news is the lower number on the scale, the bad news is that Michael made gooey butter cake again... Thanks a lot! And of course not bad news, but challenging, we are going to another birthday party tomorrow. So it's time to ratchet up my self control a little more and make it through this holiday weekend without a gain!

Ugh- Disgusting

That is how I was feeling both physically and emotionally last night.

We went to eat at IHOP since someone was (finally) doing a walk-through of our house last night, and they have free kids meals there. I ended up getting an omelet, made with egg whites for $1.30 extra of course, which also came with 3 pancakes. The meals all came out and they were huge!

Even though it was an egg white omelet, it was still almost dripping in the butter sauce that they fry it in. Luckily I was able to control myself from eating the whole thing, but I did eat Emily's strawberries with whipped cream that she didn't want for some reason...

So anyway, the grease started giving me a stomach ache before we even left the restuarant. And then I was feeling down about how I thought I would doing will with my choice of meal, but I just felt FAT after eating it.

So yesterday just wasn't a great day.

I did have an early weigh-in today though, since I am going to a co-worker's farewell lunch during my regular meeting time tomorrow. I was down 0.8 lbs from last week- which just makes up for the gain that I had recorded.

There is definitely more work to be done, but hopefully I am back in the right direction.

Oh and I'll mention the Black Bean Brownies I made this week. You pick the brownie mix of your choice and instead of adding the eggs and oil that it calls for, all you do is add one can of black beans. Make sure to rinse the beans, then pour them back in the can and fill it with water. Then puree the HECK out of the black beans/water and add in the brownie mix. I think they may have a shorter cooking time when you use this method. They probably could have come out of the oven a little sooner, and I even used the shortest estimated time. Enjoy :)

Week 14

I just had my week 14 weigh-in/meeting today and it was another backslide. Up 0.6 lbs, but luckily it didn't put me back under 18 lbs total.

It doesn't take much thought to realize what happened this week, in fact there are several things I can come up with.

#1: I had a pasta dish for at least one meal this ENTIRE week. On Sunday the whole onslaught of inlaws descended on our house so MIL made a huge pot of ravioli. I had that as leftovers for a few days after that. Then we made spaghetti with florentine meatballs for supper on Wednesday, which I have had for lunch on Thur and Friday as well. Thur night we had beef stroganoff with egg noodles. I will probably be eating that for lunch on Saturday. Whew- a whole lot of carbs and not enough veggies. I also had pizza and leftover pizza on Sat and Sun. So all in all a delicious but not weightloss-inducing week there folks!

#2: My portion sizes have been creeping steadily bigger. I need to get back into the habit of measuring rather than eyeballing. As my meeting leader said today- our eyeballs tend to grow on us!

#3: I've been falling victim to the classic BLTS: bites, licks, tastes, and sips!
Michael made jack and coke for himself several nights this week, and I had my share of sips. When getting Emily's food ready or, once again, putting away leftovers, I would take little bites and licks of the spoon here and there. Unfortunately it all adds up...

So here is hoping for a better week. I'd like to try and make it through without pasta or pizza this time!

Better Late than Never

We ended up being a lot busier this weekend than I realized, so I've just put up the new picture in the side pane.

Wow- I looked really bad in May! I knew there had to be a difference, it's good and bad to see :) But there is definitely still a way to go.

whew...made it.

Down 1.6 lbs this week (so I blew by 18 lbs), and now I only have 11 left to make goal!

However, it's going to be another tough week ahead, with a baby shower and ladies night get- together. It seems like when I look back though, every week has had its obstacles. Whether it is eating out when the parents come to town, parties to go to, or vacations. So the fact that I've still lost this weight amongst a lot of "hard" weeks, should give me some confidence for the future.

I will say that I am not ready to face the challenge of Nov/Dec yet though. With my birthday, Thanksgiving, then Christmas parties and visiting 2 sets of relatives for the holidays, what a lot of desserts there will be to drool over!

I will really really try to get an updated picture up this weekend! I know I will look thinner compared to the first picture, but I am still flabby all over. Once I *hopefully* become a WW lifetime member, I want to apply that $40/mo to a gym membership to work on toning. I know it will make a big difference in my appearance even though I won't necessarily be losing any more weight at that point. I hope I can start this soon!

I've got a problem

That's pretty obvious given that I was so overweight. But this is a problem that is still plaguing me even as I am losing weight and learning to do things better.

I can't seem to stop eating even though I may not be hungry. This is most often a problem at restaurants and when cleaning up and putting away leftovers after a meal. For instance, last night I was putting away pizza for lunch today and also Michael hadn't gotten home from work so his pizza was still sitting on the pan. I had just eaten broccoli and 2 pieces of pizza and yet I just COULD NOT STOP myself from picking at what was left. A bite of crust here, a cheese covered mushroom there. It's ridiculous! Why is it so hard for me to stop myself when I am satisfied? Maybe to my brain, satisfaction isn't necessarily linked to a full stomach. Eating yummy food is satisfying to me, whether I am starving or about to burst.

Any tips to help me in this way of thinking?

Brick walls, favorites, and a recipe..

Sorry, it’s been a while. I have been quietly and not super successively plugging along. I feel like I am never going to reach the elusive 18 pounds that I’ve been hovering near for several weeks. I was so close two weeks ago, only 0.4 lbs. Then when I weighed in on Friday I was only down 0.2 lbs- who even counts 0.2 pounds!? That could be the difference between weighing on an empty stomach or having just drank a glass of water. Geez.
There is some kind of wall built up around the 18 lb mark, and I’m not sure whether it is going to be busted through or not. I do admit that I have not been tracking for the last few weeks, but I’ve been pretty good with food choices- better than in the past at least. That’s really what I need though; to get back to basics since it is so easy to slide in a few or lot of extra points when I’m not religious about writing things down. I have started this week off right though, tracking yesterday and today- so hopefully I’ll have the momentum to smash through and go beyond 18!
Now on to a positive topic. Callie tagged me a while back to name my 6 favorite things, and here they are in no particular order:
1. Emily’s face: all of her really, but I just love holding her sweet face between my hands and gazing at all her cute perfect-ness :)
2. OBX- mostly Nag’s Head/manteo area: I spent a semester of college here studying with a small group of other students. It was one of the best times of my life and it always feels so “right” and magical to be back there.
3. Books: my favorites at this point are the Harry Potter series and Pride and Prejudice.
4. That first night sleeping in crisp clean sheets. I don’t know why, but it is just more relaxing to sleep in a freshly made bed.
5. Dessert! I don’t think I could pick favorite out of all desserts, b/c I just love so many. I will say that I don’t generally like desserts with nuts or raisins.
6. Sleeping in. It happens so rarely and I have always loved my sleep, so it’s an extra special treat now.

I’m not sure that there are a lot of other readers out there that have been tagged, so I’ll just tag Miche.

And lastly, here is the recipe that I mentioned in a previous post. Sooo yummy and if you find some low fat chips- or even just use it as a salsa to go on southwestern-style turkey burgers, quite healthy!

Corn Salsa
* 4 medium ears fresh corn, husks removed. (canned is fine, but get “no salt added” kind to cut down on the extra sodium)
* 1 (12 ounce) jar of roasted red bell peppers. Drained and chopped.
* 2 ripe avocados, chopped
* 2 green onions, finely chopped
* 1 large tomato, seeded and minced
* 1 jalapeno pepper, seeded and miced
* 3 tablespoons minced fresh cilantro
* 2 tablespoons fresh lime juice
* 1 tablespoon white wine vinegar
* 1/2 teasoon salt
* 1/4 teaspoon pepper
* 1/4 teaspoon cumin

Combine all ingredients in large bowl. Cover and chill at least 2 hours

Enjoy!

So Close!

First an update from the weekend. The wedding was fun but they had a buffet rather than plated dinner, so this was dangerous! I ate a mini bag of popcorn beforehand and that really helped to keep me from going overboard, plus there were two big fruit and veggie trays for a healthy option. As for the cake- I just ate the icing so I wouldn't feel like I had denied myself since I love dessert so much!

At my grandmother's birthday party, the main dish was grilled chicken, which is a nice change from the usual hamburgers and hotdogs. My SIL made a delicious dip that was basically corn salsa; no cheese, oils, dressing, etc so it was quite healthy. The most fattening thing in it was tiny bits of avocado which are such a healthy source of calories. I need to get the recipe and will definitely post it! Also, I didn't have any cake here either, which is quite surprising. But my mom made homemade ice cream, so I sacrificed cake for a couple of small bowls of that.

Then I played cornhole for a while. I certainly wouldn't say that is a great source of exercise, but it kept me off my butt and away from the food! I think this is a big downfall at many parties. I should definitely make an effort to do something outside or in another part of the house so there is not that constant food temptation.

On to today's weigh in and my goal for this month.....

down 1.2 lbs, so only 0.4 lbs short of my mini-goal. argh! I am happy with a loss this week though. I know that 0.4 lbs will come off eventually, whether it's in 2 days or 12!

Next week at the WW meeting we are doing a recipe swap. I'm excited for this and hopefully I can get some good new ideas. I am thinking about taking in the Cheesy Chicken Cups or Crockpot salsa chicken recipe- both so good and so easy!

On a not-so-related note...our house is officially on the market! It's so surreal to see it up on those realty sites. I am hoping we get a lot of people to walk the house, but I am a little concerned that we might be forced to have a few more meals out if we need to vacate the house at inconvenient times. Meals out are not so good for the wallet or the belly! Anyone know what restuarants other than Applebee's list weight watchers items and points on their menus?

Surprising Success

I was all ready to have to write a "woe is me" post today after weigh-in. As you may remember, I set a mini-goal a few weeks ago to get to my 10% weight loss of 18 lbs by Aug 1st. Well, since then I had only lost about 2 pounds, and felt that today's weigh-in wouldn't get me much closer. Guess again baby, b/c I was down 4 lbs! No one is more surprised than me about this, but now it means I'm back in the game. I have 1.6 lbs left to lose to get to 18!

It's funny though. Before I weighed in, I was assuming that I would be so far away from my mini-goal, that I wouldn't really even bother too much this weekend about being good. But now that I am so close, I am realllly hoping that the thought " only a pound and a half" will help me stay strong at the wedding and my grandmother's birthday that we are attending. It will be utterly impossible for me to resist cake at the two functions- but maybe I'll just eat the icing and definitely forgo the ice cream. I might even eat a light meal before the wedding to help curb my appetite at the reception. That could blow up in my face of course if there is some really yummy food there that I can't resist (I'm definitely a food-aholic, if you haven't guessed) thereby getting 2 meals worth of calories

At least we will be at my parents' house rather than ILs or somewhere else on the road, b/c my mom does WW too, so I should have more hope of finding decent options for snacks and small meals while there. And speaking of WW... their yogurt is GROSS! It is sweetened with sucralose, so has the taste that I associate with diet soda. I very rarely drink anything other than water, but when I do decide to have a soda, it's never diet, I'd have to drink something else just to get the taste out of my mouth!

Hope everyone has a healthy weekend!

Blah

That's how I would describe my efforts and motivation. Only down 0.2 lbs at weigh-in, so I am not going to even consider that a loss. There goes my 6 more lbs by Aug plan!

I know it's my fault. It's not like I have been eating bad or anything, I just haven't been eating great nor done anything physically active. It's like my momentum has already waned after 8 weeks. I really need to push through this lull of the last couple of weeks and get myself recommitted!

Darn you Gooey Butter Cake!

My husband made this last night for a work bake sale (yes you read that right, my husband BAKES) and it is "the debil" sooooo good but oh so bad. Box of cake mix, 3 eggs, 2 sticks of butter, a pound of confectioners sugar and a package of cream cheese! Surely no one can guess who this lovely confection is made by :-p

So I absolutely had to have a piece last night. But can we just take a minute and notice that the recipe says it yields 6 to 8 servings!? Michael cut it into 24 pieces and believe me, while I could have (gladly) eaten much more, who can afford the calories in 1/6th of that thing- wow, not me!

I was down 1.5 lbs today so that brings my total around 12. 6 more lbs and I'll have lost 10% of my total body weight! I should try to make it a mini goal to get there by Aug 7th. That would be an avg of 1.5 lbs/ week, hopefully that won't be too hard. I'll just have one tough weekend to get through- a wedding and my G'ma's birthday.

Hope everyone has a healthy and safe weekend!

Always be Prepared

It's not just for the Boy Scouts! I find that for my new healthy diet, it is a very important motto. Along with that I include "plan ahead". I need to be surrounded by healthy foods- especially snacks at work- and have food at home that can be easily prepared for dinner.

We definitely weren't prepared on Monday night. The grocery shopping was over due and the only meat we had was frozen. We also aren't the type of people that have a pantry/refrigerator full of odds and ends that can be miraculously thrown together for a last minute meal. So...not only did I not get supper until too late (after 8pm), but we spent too much money and I was so hungry by then that I ate almost all of my stromboli (not a healthy choice in itself).

I think I have the snack thing covered, but what are some quick and easy dinners that I can always have on hand in a pinch?

Last week my weight was 0.8 lbs over. I'm not too down about that though. I had just eaten my lunch (2 heavy-ish pieces of pizza) b/c I went to a different meeting and couldn't hold out until I got back to work. Usually I go on an empty stomach (well as empty as it gets when you eat a snack every couple of hours!) and immediately start munching on some carrots after I weigh-in.

I'm not too sure about this week though. It seems like my weight loss has gone through a particular pattern- big loss one week, then the next only slight loss or gain, so I am on track for a good loss. However, I have not counted my points since last Thursday, but other than the stromboli, I think I have done pretty well. Oh wait, I did have that little brownie...but only one, that's improvement :)

Long Overdue Update

Happily for me, my lack of posts does not mean that I have fallen off the wagon as far as weight-loss is concerned. As of Friday(after 6 full weeks on WW) I am down 11.4 lbs !

Despite a good number, I have been feeling a little down b/c I am not seeing the weight-loss. I look down at my belly and it appears just as flabby as before. But my pants do seem to be falling off me now, and when I was de-cluttering our closet I found some pants that had been put away for several months before I even got pregnant. When those fit (albeit snugly) it made me realize I need to give myself a break. And it also made me happy to think that I won't have to spend a bunch of money on clothes that will hopefully just be "in between" clothes to tide me over until I reach goal weight (crosses fingers)!

I was able to get some decent exercise this weekend walking 18 holes of golf (only a par 3 course though, so it's not as long) and I carried my bag the whole way too! It would be nice to do that more often, but the time and money restraints just aren't working for us.

This week, my goal is to do some abs and strength training each night before bed. And I have to buy a pedometer that actually works, b/c the one I have is so annoying that I almost feel like it's a waste to take extra step when it won't count them (how messed up and backward is that!??)

The Wrong Direction

After being on vacation and not counting a single point since last Saturday, I am up 0.4 lb! I'm obviously bummed that I gained, and I worked really hard at curbing what and how much I ate, so it would have been nice to at least see no change on the scale.

I got several comments from family on how "good" I was being. I didn't eat more than one delicious cookie dough truffle per day (even though there was a whole plate sitting right beside me all evening) and I didn't get any ice cream during our ladies day out! I also didn't finish the lunch out that we had- that is definitely a rarity for me, but I will need to practice it, b/c restaurant portions are way too big 99% of the time.
Oh and did I mention that we got back from vacay just in time for me to go to my work picnic the very next day!? Bad timing, but oh so yummy!

So now I need to get back on the points bandwagon!

Early weigh-in/meeting

I've decided to make Fridays my meeting and weigh in day so that I can get it done during my lunch break and not have to figure out how to get there on Sat. mornings while someone is tending to Emily!



Sadly I only lost 1 pound. And although I had a feeling I wasn't going to do as well, I am still a little disappointed after being spoiled with a good number last week. I did no exercising and barely even took walks.



So 5 lb down and 25 to go.

An unwelcome visitor

I am currently playing host to everyone's least favorite aunt. Sorry to bring that up, but hey, it's a fact of life I guess.
This week is going to be rough b/c my symptoms are tired and hungry (among others)- not very conducive to losing weight, eh? I can only hope that I do well enough to get myself out of this week with little damage and look forward to doing better when I can!

Although, I am happy to report that I am FINALLY going on vacation next week, and we all know how hard it is to reign yourself in on vacation! The best part of this vacation? My mom is going too, so I can actually enjoy myself and Emily b/c I won't be running after her the entire time. yippee!

Drumroll please

4 pounds lost!

I am actually quite surprised, even though I did really well with eating this week. I really didn't exercise that much, so it is scary to think if eating well helped like this, what kind of damage I have done during holidays and other random gorge fests!

:)

I was sabotaged!

Eating lunch in the break room, minding my own business, my supervisor came in with tons of leftovers from an BBQ the night before! Ack, here is where another of my real issues come into play...willpower. I had just eaten my small portion of shepherd's pie leftovers, and had some FF yogurt in the fridge for later, so I was perfectly happy with my lot at that point. But could I resist a brownie and some pasta salad? NO! Well, I probably could have, but I didn't really try. The good news, I got a smaller brownie and portion of pasta salad than I normally would have.

I am going to be finding myself in this situation a lot, especially with cookouts and some upcoming trips, so willpower is something I am going to have to work on.

The result...7 points over yesterday! I still have 25 weekly points left though, so unless something else happens to derail my progress, I should still be able to get my treat on saturday :)

Menu

The good news is that the meals we already make really aren't that unhealthy- we just eat waaay too much of it (and probably have too much red meat, but that doesn't factor into WW). Then of course are the desserts, which I can pretty much never turn down, and snacks after I should be done eating for the day. This all goes out the window when getting a quick or special dinner out of course.

Michael was worried about me starting WW, b/c he specifically asked me if we were going to have to start eating special, diet food. I said, no, I just need to eat less of what we do make, and we may need to modify a few ingredients with lower fat options. But overall, he shouldn't be affected in the slightest! Our menu this week is no different than any other.

So far we have had:
spaghetti with meat sauce (made my own with 93% ground beef, which we always buy anyway) home made pizza (lower fat than frozen or restuarant varieties and I opted for only mushrooms on my side while M could add pepperoni to his)
shepherd's pie (again lean beef and fat free cheese).
Tonight we will have grilled pork chops- they are very lean except for a layer of fat on the outside, which I don't like anyway, plus we all know grilling is a great low fat way to cook!
later in the week:
crockpot chicken with salsa and black beans, served over rice- made with boneless skinless chicken breast
a roasted (in crockpot) pork loin
bruschetta chicken bake

In other news- I have finally gotten 4 days of the 30 day shred under my belt! Not really getting easier yet though. I think I might start investigating other options on the "excercise on demand" channel, because there is tons of stuff, and 30 DS just isn't "blowing my skirt up" as Michael says. (yes he should probably be embarrassed that that is one of his sayings). Maybe kickboxing, b/c I have always liked that pretty well!

Doing well with points again today, I have 1/3 of my total left to use for supper!

Already Dreaming...

I am already looking forward to treating myself on Saturday, assuming I have some of my weekly points left. I know it is only day 3, but I have 33 of 35 still available!

There is a local coffee shop across the street from our house (this place is way better than Starbucks!) that has delicious frozen coffee drinks. It has been a while since I have gotten one, and I just can't get it out of my head! I MUST do well this week, so that I can "afford" one this weekend!

mmmmmm......

My Story

I have been fat or obese for pretty much all my life. Looking back at photos, it seems the chub started all the way back in kindergarten. I gained more and more and more until I started playing basketball in the summer after 6th grade. To give you an idea, I probably weighed 20 pounds more in 6th grade than I do now, and obviously I am far from a healthy weight at the moment.

I really hate that it went that far, and wish my parents would have helped me out in some ways. Maybe encouraging me to participate in sports earlier (I just did softball for 3 years, which isn't a ton of exercise) and limiting the food that was available to me. My brother is 3 years older and he did a ton of sports. I loved watching him, but I think it would have been even more fun to participate on my own. I guess it never occurred to me since my parents never talked about it- at least I don't remember them doing so.

Through the end of middle school and into high school, I was probably about 5 to 10 pounds lighter than I am now- a little more toned though. Finally, in college, I encountered the "freshman 15", but in reverse! It was great. I lived in the dorm that was farthest from campus- it was almost a mile walk up and down hills and steps. I ate 3 meals a day and hardly ever snacked. I went to the student rec center and took fitness classes. I don't know for sure what my lowest weight was- probably 155lb.

This is really close to the ideal weight range for my height (6' tall), but I was still pretty flabby for some reason. I just wish I had taken better care of myself from that point on and not let things get so out of hand again, because that was so much better than the state I am in now :(

So many regrets, but I just hope I am going to be moving in the right direction from now on!

29 points

That is how many I used today- 2 over my daily value. So that means I used up 2 of my 35 extra weekly points. I am still kind of hungry, and was really ravenous around 3:00, which is why I had that extra snack that pushed me over the edge. I could have probably done even better though if the yogurt we had in the house was plain fat free, rather than low fat sweetened with sugar. The yogurt was actually the most points I used all day on one item other than the meat sauce for my spaghetti.

Whole grain pastas and bread, more fruits like strawberries and blueberries, and some plain yogurt and I should be well on my way to having some substantial meals while still staying within points!

here is what I ate today:
1 serving of Honey Bunches of Oats cereal
1/2 c 1% milk
1 banana
3/4 of an apple (emily had the rest :p),
1/2 of 10" flour tortilla with 3 Tbs cheese (not low fat) 1/4 cup of black beans and salsa
1 cup of orange yogurt
a 2 pack of chocolate gram crackers
1 cup of spaghetti
a serving of meat sauce.

hmmm- I think maybe I should have eaten some vegetables!

First Meeting

I finally found time to go to my first WW meeting this morning. I was afraid earlier in the week that I would end up weighing over what I originally anticipated, but I am actually 3 or 4 pounds lighter! So the original goal (30 lbs) still stands and I'll fix my weight loss ticker accordingly.

I don't have to start counting points until tomorrow, but I can already tell that I am going to need to buy a few different foods at the store if I am going to be able to marginally fill myself up and stay within points.

I think the hardest part with points (other than staying within my set amt of course) will be trying to add everything up when I make a home cooked meal that has several ingredients.

As far as exercising is concerned, I have only done 30 day shred 2 days. I tried to do it again on Thursday and the exercise on demand channel wasn't working, so I ended up doing about 10 min of abs and arm free weights on my own. Definitely not comparable, but better than nothing.

So tomorrow is the big day- 27 points!

Day One

Of 30 day shred wasn't pretty. I honestly can't remember the last time I have done any exercising other than walking (seriously, it's been years) and it definitely showed. I couldn't even do jumping jacks without my knees popping and grinding. I can see myself spending more than 10 days on each level (there are 3) before being comfortable to move on.

It also brings to mind that maybe I have more weight on me than I thought. I'm actually not sure when I stepped on a scale last, so maybe I have farther to go than originally planned.
I won't change my initial goal though, because I know my history and can't see myself losing more than about a pound a week. Hopefully I can get close enough to the 30 lbs to feel good about myself and then set a new goal for 2010!

Oh and I hope the fact that it is going to take me a week and a half to fit in my first WW meeting isn't a sign of things to come, although this is what I was worried about!

What's on the agenda.

First of all, an explanation of my blog address: 30by2010.

That shouldn't be too hard to figure out. I want to lose 30 pounds by the end of this year. As things get going and I am hopefully adding more muscle to my frame (right now I am pretty much ALL fat) this number could change. I am fine with that. If I am more toned and at least 2 sizes smaller, I can totally deal with the scale reading a few pounds heavier than this goal weight.

What I plan to do... I need to join weight watchers. This will mark the first time I have ever actually been on a structured diet. And to be honest, I don't know if I can do it.

Before getting pregnant in 2007, I had tried using my mom's WW materials to curb my eating, but it just seemed like using points I couldn't possibly get full or satisfied. I guess that is where going to the meetings for support and info comes in.

In addition to this, I would like to try Jillian Michaels' "30 day shred". If there is going to be any exercising done, it has to be done at home. I am worried enough about finding time to go to WW meetings, I can barely imagine getting my schedule to work around going to the gym, or just being out of the house in general, since I would have to find someone to watch Emily. Not to mention the extreme lack of money situation.

So there is the plan for now. I'll update once I have attending my first WW meeting and gotten weighed in so I can keep a weight loss ticker updated (we don't own a scale, go figure) Oh and I'll also take a "before" picture in a few days. YIKES