Fashion show, fashion show, fashion show at lunch!

(name that TV show :-p)

I'll get to the fashion show in a minute, but first I want to do an update of sorts. I ate lots, exercised little, and have no idea how much I currently weigh due to the lack of a scale- but... My pants still seem to fit, so I'll call the Holidays a success (well there is still one more to go though isn't there...)

Today I went to the mall to spend a gift card and went in not really knowing what I wanted (possibly perfume, dinnerware to match my new holiday settings, or maybe a few accessories like belts etc), but I got sucked in by the clothes and never looked back!

Which brings me to the fashion show. Since I was running out of time, I didn't see the complete outfit all put together, so I went to the bathroom at work and tried them on again to get an idea. Then I realized that I said I would put some real pictures on the blog, so I took a couple of (blurry, sorry) photos!

So even though I spent 3X what the GC was actually for, I am happy with the results! I did get one other little shrug type cardigan that isn't pictured here, and I'll probably have to buy a little belt to go with it- It's cute, hopefully my vision will pan out!

So without further ado- some "real" after pics!

I have a sickness

I am not trying to be cute or exaggerating when I say I honestly think I have some mental illness when it comes to sugar/dessert. It probably has always been like that, but I am noticing it more lately with the holidays and trying to maintain this weight loss. If I am around dessert I CAN NOT STOP EATING. I swear, it is like some obsessive compulsive order- I don't lock and unlock the door five times, but I have to have just one more bite, one more cookie, one more lick. It is maddening.

Finally on Friday when I was making cookies and I had already licked myself sick on icing, I put some gum in my mouth as was suggested a while ago. It worked for a while, but eventually, I got an especially delicious glob of white chocolate on my finger and took that gum right out of my mouth, licked it off, and stuck the gum right back in. (disclaimer- I do wash my hands, etc after these tastes, so don't think you are getting all my germs if you are so lucky to receive baked goods this year!)

And just now, I innocently went past the break room and happened to peek in to see a Christmas tin sitting out. Some delicious chocolate cookies and caramel bark were in it. So I take one cookie and one piece of bark and walk out. But shoot, I forgot that I will need my water now that I was eating something, so I went back into the fridge to get my water and had to get another cookie. A physical need for another cookie. It's a sickness, I know it is, and it is making me even more desperate b.c I don't want to undo all the positive steps since May. I'm enjoying the season, but I am ready for Christmas and New Years to just be over already b/c it's just so hard :(

Not sure what I am looking for with this post, but there is the whole ugly truth!

Confessions and What I See

Confession time first.

I have been miserable at keeping track of my eating this week! I don't think I have written anything down since Tuesday at lunch. I could probably try and go back to fill it in, but I don't even remember what I wore yesterday, much less every little thing I ate 3 days ago! Oh well. I haven't been horrible though, I do know that (that comes in two days when I have multiple parties to go to over the weekend!)

Another confession- Even though I have been able to make it to the gym several times a week lately, I am still not working on one of my major trouble spots; the post-beingoverweightfor20yearsandhavingababy-belly pouch. Now I am not delusional enough to think that I will ever ever ever have a flat stomach (until I save up enough $$ for a tummy tuck of course, so...never) but I feel like it HAS to get better than this right? But what am I doing about it? Mostly just letting myself get down over my ruined body and watching TV instead of getting on the floor and doing some crunches.

This brings me to the other topic for the post. What I see when I look in the mirror.

Apparently other people (coworkers) see someone who is about to "blow away" b/c they are so skinny and are telling me I need to stop losing weight b/c I'm too small. Granted, I've lost weight and have some thin areas, but what I see is the aforementioned belly pouch and jiggly cellulite- infused thighs. It's not like I want to settle with what I have and stop working at being healthy, but why can't I also be more satisfied with the results so far and not beat myself up that I'm still just a big old mess! Ugh- body image can be a pretty ugly thing sometimes!

Weekend Roundup

I think I need to go all the way back to Thursday, so here goes;
Thur: 24 pts
Fri: 27 pts
Sat: 29 ish pts (1 activity pt gained)
Sun: 27 ish pts

From Friday on, things got a little hazy. During the week, I can sit at my desk and basically plan out the whole day's points. On the weekend, I may not know what I am going to eat when, and generally just don't bother to write things down. Also, I made cookies on Saturday and Michael made a big breakfast of fried potatoes, bacon and eggs on Sunday- so that increased my total. I will say that I am 99.9% positive that I did not use all my extra points for the week, so overall I would call it a success.

I am going to try to stick to my points for one more week, and then for the rest of the Holiday season I'll just try my best to make smart choices on types and portions of food!

New Pic

I just put a new pic up over in the side bar. It's pretty bad since I took it myself with the timer and no really good surface to put the camera on! Oh well, maybe one of these days I'll do a full picture with some of my new clothes on!
Oh and today's total was 23 pts and 1 activity pt gained!

Back to Basics

Not surprisingly, last week was one of excess. Lots of food but unfortunately, not lots of exercise. I had worked out last on Tuesday and then not again until a couple of days ago on Monday (other than one short walk after Thanksgiving dinner).

I don't know how much I weighed going into the week, since I am no longer weighing in at WW, and I probably won't know how much I weigh after for a while, since we don't own a scale! But I know that I need to get recommitted to a healthier lifestyle leading up to the difficult Christmas celebrations.

So I am going back to basics and started tracking food and points this week (started Mon) and will post them here to keep myself accountable! At my current weight I am allowed 23 pts per day plus the extra 35 per week. I'll also be able to accumulate activity points by going to the gym or taking walks on days when it isn't as nasty as today!
Here is the break-down so far:
Monday: 23 pts plus I earned 1 activity point
Tuesday: 30 pts plus earned 1 activity pt (freaking moe's! I was doing well until Michael insisted on going there for dinner)
Wed: .... will update later!